«I need help, I have so much FOMO!»
«You have what?»
A few years ago, I had a sorting class with a young woman who sadly announced that she had very strong FOMO. I had never heard the term before, and the young woman willingly learned what FOMO was. It was a discomfort associated with missing out on something supposedly better than the current one. She said that while she was sitting at home to take care of much-needed rest, the snaps from Per and Anne’s party ticked in and gave her the feeling that she should have been there. She was missing out on something. When she trained weights, she feared that she would have had a better time participating in Yoga or perhaps running intervals. The FOMO expressed itself not only in the form of fear of missing out on richer experiences than the one she was in, but also fear of missing out on information.
The freedom paradox
We humans are unfortunately and fortunately bound to this fundamental paradox of freedom. Our mind with its resources and the possibilities of the external world, provides an enormous freedom of choice. Some of our possibilities are consciously and concretely before us, other possibilities are communicated unconsciously through symbols, emotions and intuition. Shouldn’t it be wonderful that we have so many possibilities? Simultaneously with having this large catalogue of possibilities, we are bound to be no more than ourselves where we are. We cannot be in several places at once. We live our earthly life once and we live our future through the choices we make at any given time. We can sense and sometimes be quite sure of the significance of the choices we make, but we can never be completely sure. You have probably experienced that something you thought would be bad turned out to be great and the opposite.
Social Media
In 2004, Facebook was launched. Instagram came in 2010, Snapchat in 2011 and TikTok came in 2016. Through the information flow that social media offers us, we are further enriched with information, opportunities, styles and trends, hobbies, travel destinations and, not least, cuisine. In marketing, the psychological mechanisms that create FOMO are taught so that this condition is created in the customer so that products are purchased uncritically. FOMO is a store.
Within a relatively short time frame of 10 years, we have gone from a fairly limited access to information about the doings and goings of our close and distant relations, to a large access and strong flow of information about other people’s lives. Much of the information we receive from social media is from the part of the whole life that is of the good and impressive. What does this do to us? For some it does nothing, for others this flow of other people’s wealth of life can cause FOMO, inhibition and degradation.
I know my song
“I know my song well before I start singin’” is a line from Bob Dylan’s “Hard Rain.” It’s a line I’ve always liked. There’s something reassuring about knowing the song before it’s sung. The more confident we are in our choices, the more present and content we can potentially be in our lives with our choices. How can we achieve greater peace with the choices we make? What makes some people so affected by FOMO, while others are not at all?
5029 and FOMO
Part of the communication analysis 5029 assists our clients with is understanding how the brain as an organ functions as a whole and what different approaches, balances and imbalances can entail. Some of our cognitive resources make alternatives available, others sort the alternatives, while still others structure and plan how choices can be put into practice. All of these functions are necessary for decisions to be made. This is the basis for «I know my song well, before I start singing»
This «flow» of 1) Possibilities —> 2) Sorting of possibilities —> 3) Inner decision —> 4) Out into real practice, is going on consciously and unconsciously all the time.
This natural flow of smaller and larger creations based on decisions is essential to achieving a sense of presence and being the creative force of one’s own life. If this flow is stopped for any reason, life becomes «dead» and it is a short path to depression, isolation and meaninglessness.
Nosce Te Ipsum – Know Thyself
The more a person knows their needs and their individual values, the easier and more effective the decision-making process and trust in it becomes. In our classes, there is room for discovering what we truly individually believe in, stand for and want. This is the basis that facilitates decisions and protects us from FOMO. We experience daily in our sorting classes that clients discover ongoing relationships and activities that are «dead». In other words, that what arises from the relationships and activities does not lead to anything of value. Uncovering and clarifying what should be ended and reduced is equivalent to understanding what should be more of. This is a core area of our sorting work. In order to live with dignity and in accordance, we must know what we understand as values and non-values.
FOMO is a new expression for an ancient phenomenon: indecisiveness. 5029 knows a lot about what arises from mental, physical and energetic misfortunes in the wake of indecisiveness. We have also, through thousands of human encounters, experienced the joy that arises when natural decision-making ability is recaptured. One of our main roles and core competencies is to create awareness of and to nourish the parts that should play in the decision-making symphony and eliminate the possibility of FOMO taking root.
Know YOUR song and sing!